Emily Vanderpool has a precocious ability with insults. She has occasionally even surprised herself "when this irrevocable slander, this terrible, talented invective, came boiling out of my mouth."<1> She also throws a type of tantrum that leaves her breathless and turning blue; Emily has learned that the resulting parental distress is useful in getting her way. What a character!
II.
"Bad Characters" by Jean Stafford sets off with Emily at the age of eleven, suddenly dishing out some cheer to her friend Virgil Meade. "I called him a son of a sea cook, said it was common knowledge that his mother had bedbugs and that his father...was a bootlegger on the side." Virgil retaliates by throwing Emily to the ground, and scrubbing her face with the seasonal snow. Emily also pays a larger price for her sharp words. "Because I had already alienated everyone I knew...I would have no companion but Muff, the cat, who loathed all human beings except, significantly, me".
No companion, until Emily meets Lottie Jump. Lottie's family has come to live in Adams, Colorado from Muskogee, Oklahoma. Lottie herself has come into Emily's house to steal a chocolate cake. Since Emily has caught her in the act, Lottie is forced to explain her presence in the Vanderpool kitchen. "'I came to see if you'd like to play with me,' she said. I think she sighed and stole a sidelong and regretful glance at the cake."
So begins Emily's association with a thief. Lottie offers to school Emily in the practice of recreational shoplifting. "I was thrilled to death and shocked to pieces. 'Stealing is a sin,' I said. 'Ish ka bibble! I should worry if it's a sin or not,' said Lottie with a shrug."
III.
Lottie's shoplifting is eventually foiled by Emily's spoken expressiveness, the details of which I won't reveal. I can affirm however that justice is conveyed, in this mischievous and superb tale.
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<1>Stafford, Jean. "Bad Characters". The Collected Stories of Jean Stafford. University of Texas Press, 1993.
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